Moms In Motion : Connecting Moms Through Fitness

The letter started it all. It was the letter from Jamie telling me about the 2000 Triathlon with 14 women. She enclosed a copy of a News Press article to impress me. It did.

At the first meeting at my friend (and Jamie's mother) Sharon's house, the energy was catching, I was hooked. I wanted to be a part of it. Rocks? Why is she giving us rocks? These "rock goals" sound corney, I humor her and take three but can't think of what to write. OK, the triathlon.

That one's a no-brainer. But what about the other two? I've always wanted to breathe on two sides when I'm swimming. And I've wanted to be able to do a flip turn. That's another goal. What about the third? I know what it is, but I'll keep this one private. It's too intimate, too personal to share. What if I don't reach it? Goal #3 - to find the love of my life or handle my loneliness in peace.

Excellent swimming coaches taught me two-sided breathing and a few good flip turns. Hard work and commitment have prepared me for the triathlon. Somewhere along the way, as I grew stronger and more confident and saw myself in a different light, a surprising meditation revealed the love of my life.

I saw clearly that it is me. It is the person I abandoned many years ago as not good enough, not loveable, not deserving of receiving all the things I do for others. In that moment of clarity and in working with it in the ensuing weeks, I have fallen in love with myself, my strength, my courage, my willingness to take on challenges. I now pamper myself the way I used to pamper others and I see how really special I am. My loneliness has transformed into mere "aloneness" and I am at peace with me as my only company. My most challenging goal has been achieved.

I am still looking for that special partner to share my life, but I clearly see how surrounded by love I am. This summer has changed my life. On Saturday I will be throwing three rocks into the ocean with a grateful heart.