Moms In Motion : Connecting Moms Through Fitness

When my sister Meg told that she was entering a triathlon my first reaction was, oh yeah right! My second reaction was, not without me, you're not. If you can do it so can I. Sibling rivalry reared it's ugly head for a brief moment. Then my third reaction was one of esteem. I have always been amazed by my sister and her many pursuits and I really wanted to be a part of this challenge with her.
I was also intrigued to be part of a group of mothers working together as a team. In my opinion women do not come together enough to support one another, especially moms. Sometimes motherhood can be such an isolating experience and women are so busy today it's difficult to find the time to develop relationships with other women and give each other the support we so often need.
These are the reasons I got involved but I quickly realized, after the first Saturday training, that I would have to dig deep inside myself to find the motivation and the strength to get through this triathlon for myself. The gauzy bliss of denial about my physical ability rapidly lifted. So what were my goals going to be? At first all I could come up with was--just to complete the training and finish the triathlon--no matter what, even if I had to drag myself through the course.
But as the weeks pass I'm beginning to reflect on bigger issues pressing at my heart. I think that for so many years I've been so busy being mother, wife, and student that I've sorely neglected myself. As each week goes by I realize how I haven't truly inhabited my body for a very long time. Maybe because I've been overweight and struggled with low-grade depression for so many years I disassociated from my body a little, well, okay maybe a lot. Oh, I've always exercised on a regular basis (walking, yoga) but there is something about this type of work-out (training) that heightens the awareness of self in a very different manner. There is no hiding allowed. What's most difficult for me is running. My body feels like deadweight--A loadstone. Every step I take I carry with me all that extra baggage. I've found that I'm extremely self-conscious that I'm the slowest one. So I know this is where my work begins--finding the courage to allow myself to be last and still show-up every week. Thus the goal becomes a journey inward to the core of my being. What am I capable of?
Through this challenge there is a sense of coming home to myself. I'm interested to see who greets me at the door at the end of all of this.

The Poet Rumi Writes: This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, Some momentary awareness comes As an unexpected visitor. Welcome and entertain them all... Be grateful for whoever comes, Because each has been sent As a guide from beyond.

I'm grateful for this opportunity to discover more about myself, as well as the opportunity to work with other mothers towards this goal. There is real beauty and synthesis in the work together. I'm also so grateful to be sharing this time with my sister.. Every Saturday I drive up from LA and we go together to the trainings. And every Saturday evening we laugh on the phone together about what happened to us. There is a comradeship and honesty arising between us that I've never felt before-- this will be a gift I will always treasure.
The other amazing thing is the effect the training is having on my family. My husband finds himself swimming and riding bikes, something he hasn't done in years. He is now confronting his own health and fitness issues. My youngest daughter (who is overweight) is now riding her bike like a mad woman and going with me to the track. To her delight she finds she's way faster than me and it makes her fiercely proud. Our lives are being transformed right before my eyes. Who knows where we'll go from here...
Last Night, as I was sleeping
I dreamt. . .
that I had a beehive here inside my heart.
and the golden bees
were making white combs of sweet honey
from my old failures.
--Antonio Machado