Moms In Motion : Connecting Moms Through Fitness

Upon deciding to join Moms in Motion I believed I was going to participate in a summer long journey with a group of diversified women all training to be the best they could be at a culminating athletic feat. As with any exceptional experience, it has become what I had hoped for and so much more.

I came to Moms in Motion a normal person with a unique life. I am happily married to my husband, a wonderful man who believes that the most important part of a family is a happy mom. We have two truly special children. Our six year old daughter is a gift. She is full of exuberance and kindness. She shines constantly and sings throughout the day. We treasure her sparkle and her heart.

Our soon to be three year old daughter, made our family complete. Her beautiful blond curls surround the sweetest of faces. Her laughter fills our home with joy. She loves to cuddle and share her warmth with others. We adore her sense of humor and her smiles. While our youngest is all of these things, she is also a child who struggles with language, has numerous health issues, and is supposed to be severely to profoundly mentally retarded. It was a little over a year ago that my life would take a road I never wanted it to take.

A road that now after traveling on for a year still terrifies me when I come to an unknown corner, but is actually not as bad to travel on as I feared it would be. It was a year ago that my youngest daughter's neurologist reported to my husband and me that the reason she was not reaching her developmental milestones was because she had a chromosome abnormality. It was that day that we left the familiar road of a normal family, and I suddenly became a mother of a special needs child.

When she was eighteen months old when we got her diagnosis, and she did not change that day, but our world seemed to. Instead of going to the zoo and for walks, we were going to visit one of her seven doctors or one of her six therapists. My oldest daughter's schedule was no longer dictating her younger sister's days; she was going to all of her sister's appointments.

My husband and I were trying to catch our breath, trying to realign our plans for the future with the predictions for her future, and trying to continue to be a happy family. So I come to Moms In Motion a former college swimmer, a resigned elementary school teacher, a wife, and a mother of two terrific kids, one who is special needs. Moms In Motion gave me an opportunity to be all of those things. Yes, I am my daughter's mom, but these women also know me as a strong swimmer and a loud cheerleader. I am someone who can laugh at jokes and sympathize with troubles. I can be all of the elements that make up who I am whereas in most other places I am mainly known as mom.

The triathlon helps me daily with my life. Exercise is a huge stress reliever and makes each day seem brighter. Having physical strength helps me to feel mentally strong. I have more confidence in being able to handle the daily challenges that come up when I am in good shape. But one aspect of the triathlon which I had difficulty in bringing to my home life was goal setting. I grew up setting goals. Being a competitive athlete, I have been taught and told to make goals a part of my life and it is something I became very comfortable with.

Then when my youngest came along and goals which I had held for decades seemed to be shattered. When you have a child with special needs long term goals become long term nightmares. The future is filled with horrible predictions so the focus needs to be on the here and now. That is where you find joy. While my daughter's life is filled with developmental goals, the goals are not something she or her dad, her doctors, her therapists, or I have ultimate control over. One main goal is for her to develop her speech.

To reach that goal, she has speech therapy, is learning sign language, uses pictures to communicate and has a "talking" devise. We talk her though every step of every day, and yet her speech has regressed over the last few months. I have not heard her say Mama in over two months. How then can goals be a part of our lives without becoming completely depressed? The answer came when an Olympic athlete explained to us that while in 1988 he attended the Olympics, won a gold medal, and broke a world record with a medley relay team, he did not reach his goals. He wanted to do more individually, but he also acknowledged that if he had not set his goals to the height he had, he would not have achieved his other accomplishments.

I need to learn to look at it that way concerning my daughter. My hopes, dreams, and goals for her will always be sky-high, and most she will never reach. But I have to have comfort in knowing that because we strive for those high goals daily, we will achieve other things that would not have been possible. While I hope for the day that my youngest daughter and I can sit and have a true conversation, I know that if she can ever say "Love Mommy" or "Want ice cream", we will have gotten there because of our striving to do more. While that will cause us to face many disappointments, it will also allow us to experience many successes.

Finally the triathlon has given me a chance to give and get support. Being a mom of a special needs child, I find myself constantly turning to others for help. I either need someone to watch my oldest or someone to LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN to me talk. My friends, therapists, even acquaintances have turned into my personal counselors. This triathlon is providing me with an even bigger support group. It is also allowing my daughter's story to spread further. It means so much when people pat her on the head and greet her instead of looking at her with their head slightly tilted trying to figure out what is different about my beautiful girl with the curls. Having a special needs child who looks "normal" presents many interesting and stressful situations. With more people knowing the circumstances, we face less of those situations.

Fortunately, in the area of athletics, I am able to give a little support back. I have always liked to give and being on the receiving end of so much for the last year has caused stress in itself. With Moms In Motion I have an opportunity to offer advice, enthusiasm, and help to others who are traveling on their road of unknown experiences. Many of these moms are doing something they fear, and are coming to corners with huge unknowns around them. I love being able to reassure friends who are doing things they never thought possible. They have given so much to me over the last year; it is nice to be able to give a little back.

So as I run in on the last stretch of the triathlon, I will have comfort in knowing that the triathlon is a road I did choose and am prepared for thanks to these wonderful women. It is a road which I have helped others to find and accomplish. And it is a road that will help me continue to face road that lies ahead.